So many things to write about - my life, others lives, perspectives.. where do I start. An update, we have found another house and hopefully this time it will all go through. In September we will know more, because we have to close then.. lets see. My husband got into part time B-school at a top 5 school, so thats exciting.

Work is chugging along, there is still a lot of uncertainity - one day I am promised I am leading a team , next day the internal client people who are all insecure throw a wrench in my role description because they wont travel but want to lead the developers.All this is interesting , at times because its strange to see the people being so insecure and grown people so unprofessional, struggling for power struggle. Lets see how it pans out.. otherwise I have learnt lots of cool things -making workplans,interviewing and doing other managery type of things in excel and powerpoint. I try to stay upbeat but some days it just gets me down. Well life is like that I guess - some ups and some downs.

I have made a lot of new friends at work - and I will write about them another day. Am watching 'Born in brothels' and I am really liking the movie.. I dont know why there was so much negative press around it, and esp in India they didnt even screen it.Its not sad, in the depressing sense,its sad but the kids are still smiling and are like kids anywhere despite the circumstances.The documentary maker claims she is not a social worker but does strive to give them a chance to dream, and make a better life. I also saw a spate of Hindi flics - Bunty n Bubli ( tp); Silsilay ( a bit silly a bit ok), Waqt ( bore family drama types) and Parinita( I liked this one a lot).

Also saw Million dollar baby last week - its good acting and a good story albeit depressing towards the end . I have a lot more to write, I wish I could talk into a tape as I drive, because I get a lot of thoughts then, but I forgot it when its time to blog. Anyways as long as I chronicle my life enough, it shd be ok.. Ok signing off now !

House or home?

Have been neglecting the blog for some time , guess if I am happy I dont feel the need to write but if something upsets me - I feel its very therapautic(sp?) to rant about it .
So I have been on this local project and things are still a little slow in picking up.My role has already changed 4 times in 3 weeks..But I am getting there trying to get a handle on things, though its a little frustrating when I am not super busy. Strangelybeing busy keeps me happy - some weird quirk ?
We have been house hunting on and off for the past 7 months or so - in most cases we didnt like the house or it was over-priced.NJ and the real estate mkt is crazyand so when we went to see this house last Friday we didnt expect much.But it was the most gorgeous home with a beautiful backyard, lots of upgrades and everything was right about it.We decided to make an offer and by Sunday they had accepted the offer. On Monday when we went to sign the contract again we asked to see the house again because it is a lot of money.All went well and the contracts were signed and the paperwork went to the attorneys.We were scrambling to get the mortgage and other stuff done, and were very excited, then yesterday morning I called the paralegal and she says ' the deal is dead'.For a minute I could not believe it but then after our realtor called theirs and so on and so forth, turns out they got emotional because we asked to see the house a second time,the new guy's closing date was better for them as it gave them more time - bottom line we lost the house, and I really had liked the house.
My husband is trying to act all normal - male bravado I guess, but I felt really bad.I guess this is life. I know we will find a house someday but life plays strange games with you ... but then again wouldnt life not be life if it was all fine and dandy all the time?
On a happy note, spent a great weekend with my friend A and the new baby and her hubby A and her parents.

This morning as I was still gloomy and coming into work I saw 2 guys and 1 cop walking after them, cleaning the sidewalks of litter probably some sentence/community service thingy. But amazingly they looked so happy - smiling as they did this work. It was strange, everyone has so many things on their mind and keeps pitying themselves, but in the bigger picture, people who are worse off are happy and then you feel so small. There are people whose kids get murdered, people who loose their jobs and get bankrup and so on.. yet they manage to smile and face life. Agreed I am a little in the dumps about the house thing , but thats normal . I was angry at the sellers but in 1 week I am sure I would have moved on.. and be busy with something else. well signing off now

Rolling off

Its been little over a month in for me in my new co. A ( name has been scrubbed) and boy its been helluva ride. The first week here I was optimistic but confused and lonely. But the 3rd week here I had made some great friends W,B,D,R etc but had achieved no success in my work. I was disheartened and near tears. I went home that Friday thinking thats it, I couldnt solve my first project and I am a loser and what not and I was not going to be going back. But 830 on Sunday night they call me and say you should come back tomorrow. And boy what a week its been - I had a breakthrough on Monday evening, and a bit of a downfall on Tuesday but, by Tuesday afternoon it was all working, and by evening successful unit test emails were being sent. Wed we had a team outing which was ton of fun, dinner followed by Bowling.. I kinda like Accenture's motto - work hard and play harder..And the PMO actually pointed to me in front of 40 something team members and said she was the hero and she saved the day by making it work. Anyways its been quite a ride.. started saying my good bye's today and its quite sad really. Consulting is strange that way, you meet all these people and then part ways and will probably never see them again, unless they are on a same project. You just spend a min in time with each other is all there is. IM ofcourse helps you keep in touch , but still... its bittersweet....you move on, new team, new project, new friends everything all over again ...Good night CT !

Oh BTW just something to remember - W & B's C top 2 : Do you smell pipe and what is the first letter of your first name :)

The baby is here ( not mine)

Just a one-liner post, my best friend A or is it B delivered a healthy baby boy weighing 8lbs on Saturday. I just found out today. News like this makes your day and puts life into perspective. Suddenly I was so happy, I was able to debug a problem I had been struggling with the whole day. Congrats A & A , and welcome to this world lil S.Good nite !

Been a long long time..

Hey everyone - its been real long since I posted here..things sure have changed and sped up. Basically in early March I got an offer from this smaller consulting co. I had interviewed with and pushed A( my new employer) and they came through with an offer. After a quick 2 week notice period, and lots of farewells and good bye's at my previous company I started with Aabout a month back.Its been quite a ride - both workwise, funwise and travelwise. Lots to learn, tons of people to meet, and also kind of like the work hard , play hard bit. Last week we had a training in Chicago and it was a great opportunity to meet the others in my group face to face.I am so far posted in CT on a client site and although its in the middle of nowhere, have managed to make a few friends, and generally we hang out and stuff in the evenings..The work is scary , all the responsibility and the challenge, but its great to learn and do new stuff daily and I am liking it.. so there we go...On the personal front, had to push the baby and home buying plans a bit , due to lack of time. Another Bitsian pal of mine had a baby girl, and my best friend A is due in 2 weeks. Am so excited for all of them.. also did the social scene by attending parties and this that on the weekend.. am now under the covers in the hotel room, drinking hot chocalate and watching tv and figured I havent blogged for so long , so let me do that.. nothing much is happening otherwise...was seeing this TV show on CNN I believe called Nancy Grace, and this woman can exploit tragedy to the limit, you should see her face look all sad and gloomy when talking to a widow of a murder victim, and then all sharp and focused when speaking to the detective on the case, and then mean and bitchy when speaking with the defense attorney. To make it worse, every few mins, she would look all teary- eyed at the widow and say, what went through your mind that night, how is your baby daughter coping and so on.. after a while her fakeness totally grossed me out and I turned off the TV.. TV talk show hosts should try to keep it real !! Maybe thats why I like public television so much. Just venting I guess.. what else- saw Spanglish - its an gawd awful bore, also saw After the Sunset, its not bad.. saw Being Julia and Vera Drake both Oscar nominated for best actress, and really liked them...havent seen any Hindi ones yet - I know I want to see Page 3 and Black, but will have to wait till I have some time to breath.. ok will sign off now ! Good night !

Puzzles, microsoft and such..

Gawddddddddd! Our server at work is so slow that everytime we make a change in our DEV environment it takes 25-30 mins to save it. Talk about productivity huh :).. I am in a much better mood now - I have decided that everything in life takes its time and you get your due course when its due. No point fretting, competing with the Joneses and so on..Just be yourself and live life I guess...On Friday another smaller consulting company called me for an interview - the recruiter then went on to tell me the interviewer who is also the Managing officer of this 300 person consulting firm likes to ask logical puzzles. I freaked as I really suck at these Scientific America type of puzzles so started looking up on the internet for Microsoft type interview questions. Which led me to buy a really cool book 'How Would You Move Mount Fuji? Microsoft's Cult of the Puzzle - How the World's Smartest Company Selects the Most Creative Thinkers' by William Poundstone. I must say it was an interesting read over the weekend, and it does give you tactics on how to approach these puzzles. I could not solve a lot of them, but I managed to solve some and felt it kept me busy and prevented me from brooding.
Here's an easy one : "Why are manhole covers round?".
Yesterday was the interview - it was brr cold as I made my way to the interview but I did get there and could successfully answer my programming puzzle.The logical puzzle also was something interesting and with a few hints, I could manage to solve it finally.I dont know if the Managing officer thought I am not so smart or not but suddenly I am interested in this stuff..:)..
Anyways they will let me know in 2-3 days - I am crossing my fingers, because although they are supposed to be small consulting company with only 300 or so employees, I think they could be a great place to learn..lets see no point counting your chickens before they hatch - first I should get an offer !What else what else.. since I have decided to pursue the techie route for now, havw bought a book from amazon and plan to get certified as a Java developer. Hmm studying after school requires some sheer willpower and that is something I am weak at but I did get certified on the stuff I work on, so that has prodded me on.
Made some awesome pasta for dinner yesterday and baked a cake ( a la Betty Crocker cake mix) .. thinking of all of it - is making me hungry !!! Will head on down to the cafeteria ( am in the office today) , so signing off now.. and yes Kanags - if you are reading this- all I can say is hang in there...

Ok back from lunch and our server is now being rebooted so have a good 30 mins to kill. Sometimes it amuses me how similar our work lives are to Dilbert :)...Anyways yesterday I re-saw Kill Bill Vol 2 ( I am the proud owner of the DVD) since we recently splurged .After much research by hubby we invested in a home theater system ( no home, so a theater will have to do for now !) .. Its HSU VT-12 Ventriloquist with a STF-2 subwoofer ( www.hsu.com) and an Onkyo Receiver.. sounds good and we have terribly patient neighbors who have so far not complained esp when we test it for a few mins daily by increasing the volume a ton , but usually are good about maintaining a decent volume. We were all set to buy a Bose - because its sort of like buying into a dream or maybe even a status symbol, but after the reviews and painstaking hours of research, hubby liked the specs and reviews of this combo a lot more. It gave him a nice little project and we even ripped the carpet and laid the wires underneath and all that stuff. Will post some pics soon..

What else what else.. nothing much ! Will truly sign off now !

Ok what else..

Untitled post..

This morning I started looking back over my blog postings lately and see that all of them are so negative.Is this a dark phase in my life or what, huh?But I have decided to let go of many things and enjoy life as it is. Not get stressed as I get left behind in the rat race and other life events. I think I need a vacation. Or I need to take a deep breath, and reevaluate a lot of my life. I think I have to get over the fact that I could be good at anything I did.I guess I am not - as displayed by the immense amount of success I have been having in my career ;) !!
I havent heard from A yet - oh well, actually they did get back to me last week and say they liked me and were in the process of getting my offer approved. But then again, they said they would let me know by early this week and its Wed and no news from them yet.I am not superstitious or anything, I have my own faith but lately life seems to not have a way of working out for me , and am wondering whats going on.... Oops there I go ranting again! I guess its sort of cathartic to write about whats going on in my life- even if its all pessimistic depressing stuff.. I have to start studying again.Maybe update a few more technical skills, get a few more goddamn certifications, some more crap to write on my resume. It looks like I still have time at the current job. We had a re-org and survived it yet again, but that wont last for long I guess.
Also one strange thing,actually you tell me if its strange, we have this friend , a couple actually, and the minute something happens in their life, something good or bad, they immediately feel the need to IM us or call us , like for example stuff like - I just accepted an offer, my wife just got a new project mins back and we will make more money, we got our EAD cards 5 mins back , and so on. Its one thing to share news, but another thing, to continuously barage us with info. about their lives. First I used to be resentful that all the good things keep happening to everyone but me ;but lately, I have developed a sort of disinterested attitude in life. I just dont seem to care about anything anymore. Is this healthy, should I be jealous, angry or be feeling something? Or should I just let the moment pass, and wait for the silver lining at the end of the cloud? You tell me..